Desperation is the mother of invention, and if you think you have a future as a writer, you're nothing if not desperate."

Such is the advice of John Warner in this innovative and slightly insane book. Equal parts humor and strange instruction, Fondling Your Muse is:

• Packed with quirky tips from the editor of McSweeney's Internet Tendence
• Clearly one-of-a-kind in its earnest advice to helpless, lazy, and untalented writers
• A new spin on timeless writing problems

Exploiting writers' most vicious insecurities with flair, this guide will make writers worse at the craft and, as a result, eminently more publishable.

John Warner is the editor of McSweeney's Internet Tendency and the co-author, with Kevin Guilfoile, of My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush, which was a Washington Post best seller.